singletwinmom

I met with my attorney today…there is no reasonable explanation why my divorce is not final. I filed the paperwork back in April 2008, we have no assets to dispute, we’ve agreed upon our debt. Today we went over baby daddy’s attorney’s “write up” of the agreement.
I realize I am just a lay person…the wording used in legal documents is above my understanding…but it is amazing to me how creative those people are. Truly! In one paragraph it states that my children cannot be taken out of the state until they are age 3. And in another paragraph it states that baby daddy can take them out of the state for 2 weeks before their 3rd birthday.
Not wanting the boys to be taken out of state by their own father may seem a bit extreme, but believe me it’s not. It is a COMPLETELY reasonable statement when you take into account the fact that their father has NEVER spent a night alone with both boys. Since our separation, he’s never even asked to keep the boys over night. He kept one of the twins for 3 straight nights while the other twin was in the hospital…I stayed with the twin in the hospital. And, baby daddy stayed 1 night in the hospital with the hospitalized twin, by himself. Other than that, the man has NEVER spent more than 4 (and I’m being GENEROUS) hours alone with both boys. So, requesting that he not be allowed to take them far away from home is completely within reason.
My question to those of you with legal minds is…was I not supposed to catch the second paragraph where he’s allowed to take them out of the state? I’m not sure what to make of it.
And, it’s not like I’m saying he can NEVER take them far away. They cannot communicate well enough to tell me anything about their trip. I’m not suggesting they “spy” on him. If something were to happen, something bad, how would they let me know? He’s not familiar enough with them to understand what words they do speak, how is he supposed to meet their needs?
People keep telling me that he won’t really go through with all his allowed visitation. He’ll get so distracted with his new life and new kids that he will eventually forget about us. I don’t want to deprive my boys of any “meaningful” relationship with him, but I also don’t want him to use them to make himself feel better about his choice.
Just when you think everything is going your way…the Phantom of your life once lived returns.

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