singletwinmom

I think I’ve done well adapting as a single parent over the last year. Baby daddy never really took an active roll in parenting, by that I mean he didn’t bathe the boys or feed the boys. His idea of spending time with the boys was napping in the same room they were in. But, this is not actually a baby daddy bashing blog today. As I was saying, I think I’ve adapted pretty well. I can handle most of the boys needs without a second thought…dirty diaper = change, hungry boys = food, crying boys = snuggle…while it’s by no means easy, you can kind of get the feel for it and go on instinct. At least when they’re 2. I’m sure it will change drastically before too long. There have certainly been times when I’ve called a trusted mom and asked, “what do I do about this or that,” but day to day I have it under control.

But, today…for the first time in a LONG time I physically missed baby daddy. Not because I wanted a hug or anything odd like that, I cut my finger and to spite his many, many, many faults…the man is good under pressure. It wasn’t a bad cut, but I did break out in a cold sweat and have to put my head between my knees. I just wanted someone to understand that I had hurt myself and help me. The boys are too small, or I’m sure they would have tried to help. I do okay when other people get hurt. I don’t feel faint at the sight of other’s blood, but for some reason when it’s my own I get really light headed. I no longer donate blood because I pass out EVERY time, no matter what precautions we might take…the needle goes in, the blood starts flowing, and everything goes dark. So, I think I just wanted someone (heaven knows why he was the first to pop in to my head) to look at my finger and tell me I was ok.

Of course, I had to call my sister-in-law and tell her about it, but I guess I needed the reaction of someone seeing the cut…so I went to my brother’s work and showed him. Those poor people, they have 3 kids of their own, full time jobs, and me…there honorary foster-adult-chiild. My brother made the “Yuck” face I guess I was looking for and after that, my finger didn’t hurt so much.

Have I said how good it is to have family close by?

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