singletwinmom

I’ve had a tough week…not sure why, but it’s been a tough one. Maybe it’s hormones, maybe it’s the realization that I’m a 40 year old, single mother with no real prospects in my future. I don’t mean MALE prospects, I mean job…career prospects. Most of the time cleaning houses is therapeutic for me. Truly, it gives me time to think and be productive…you don’t need a lot of concentration to scrub a tub. So, it helps me clear my head…most of the time.

Sometimes, it’s just overwhelmingly humbling. That was my week. OVERWHELMINGLY HUMBLING! I couldn’t help but wonder…what was the difference between these people and me? At what point did their lives lead them in the direction of, ‘having enough money to have a housekeeper,’ and my life lead me in the direction of ‘needing money badly enough to become a housekeeper’?

I don’t mean to complain, I’m glad to have work. I’m glad there are people out there that will welcome me into their homes and trust me enough to clean them…without standing over me. I appreciate that I can bring my children with me and be with them while I earn money. I don’t mean to be ungrateful, I’m just curious. How did these people arrive at their situation and how did my journey take such a different course?

You may be thinking the obvious, “get your education,” and you may be surprised to know I have one…at least, part of one. I have an undergraduate degree. It’s not the education that makes the difference. What is the deciding factor if it’s not that?

Personal drive? Self confidence? Shear luck? What leads one person to have…money and one person to be in constant need of it? It’s a real mystery to me…I would like the answer so I can share it with my boys. I don’t believe having money makes you happy…but I would argue that it gives you one less thing to worry about. I’m sure people with money would say that they have more worries, or maybe they just worry about different things.

Anyhoo, I want to get to the bottom of this before my boys get older. I want to teach them to be good with money. It is in my Genes (pun intended) to be good with money, but I am not.